I feel everyone has a story.

Your experiences, your feelings, ideas, thoughts, and dreams all combine to form your life and your journey, which is your story.

This is where I would like to share my story!

January 01, 2008  

Cancer touches all of our lives in one way or another!

It has definitely touched mine.

I am not a cancer survivor.  I am a nurse that has worked with cancer patients for the last 6 years.

I have treated patients of all ages and from all walks of life. I absolutely love what I do and find it very rewarding.

I have held patient's hands as the doctor was giving the devastating diagnosis and I have been there holding a patient's hands as they took their last breath. Every patient touches my heart. and I keep everyone in my prayers.

From my experiences, I have come to the conclusion: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

I have been fortunate enough to see so many triumph over cancer and go on with their lives. This is why I started CancerSux.org and will continue my mission until a cure is found.

I decided to have T-shirts made that had the Cancer Sux logo as a way to share my feelings in a humorous way with those affected by cancer.  The response has been amazing!

I decided that this was a great  way to share this fun with others. I am making Cancer Sux logo apparel and accessories available to the public so that everyone can enjoy this humorous form of expression.

A portion of all proceeds will benefit cancer research and services. My wish is to see this disease laid to rest.  With every purchase,  we are closer to finding the answers.

Thank you.

 January 24, 2008

"There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.”-Albert Einstein

Today, I woke up thinking about a patient I treated about a month ago. Tomorrow she will be admitted into the hospital for her stem cell transplant. I said a little prayer for her.

I work in an outpatient cancer treatment center. The clinic is fairly large and we see about 100-150 patients a day.

At work today, It was work as usual until a miracle happened.

I opened up a chart, didn't recognize the patient's name, but when I called the patient in...I was overwhelmed by a feeling of euphoria. 

The patient was the sister of the patient I woke up thinking about. I was so excited. I was able to ask her how her sister was and tell her that I said a little prayer for her sister that morning.

It may not seem like much, but you see I believe that was God's miracle and not just a coincident. I was able to talk to her and send my well wishes to her sister. As I treat patients, I get pretty attached to them. They become part of my life and I become part of theirs.

February 06, 2008

“A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for”-Anonymous

Today was heartbreaking. I treated a patient that was  pregnant. My heart as well as my prayers went out to her and her family.

I can't even imagine what she is going through.

What will stick in my mind is not the fact that I treated a pregnant patient but what another patient's wife said to me. She had a concerned look on her face as she leaned over to me and whispered "I didn't think pregnant women could get chemo."

My response to her without revealing the details of the other patient  was "Sometimes there's no choice."

And her reply, "You think you have it bad, until you look around."

February 12, 2008

 “All you need is trust and a little bit of pixie dust!” - Peter Pan

Today I borrowed on of my fellow nurses' lines.

As soon as I saw this patient, I knew something was wrong. She looked upset and had a distant look on her face. I set her up for her for treatment and asked if everything was OK. She proceeded to tell me that she was just coming from the doctor's office and they had given her some devastating news. They had exhausted all her other options and were going to start her on a new chemo and it was her last hope, if she didn't respond to it she would have no other choice except to be placed on hospice.

I looked into her eyes and both of our eyes filled with tears. What should I  say to her was all I could think. I knew the last thing she wanted to hear was "Everything is going to be all right."

Then I remembered what I had a fellow nurse say once to her patients and it just came out.

As I was pushing the medication, I said "I guess I better pull out the big guns...I'll sprinkle some of our special fairy dust over this chemo and we'll pray!"

Her smile touched my heart. 

February 23, 2008

 “Each day is a special gift from God, and while life may not always be fair, you must never allow the pains, hurdles, and handicaps of the moment to poison your attitude and plans for yourself and your future. You can never win when you wear the ugly cloak of self-pity, and the sour sound of whining will certainly frighten away any opportunity for success. Never again. There is a better way.” - Og Mandino

In my line of work it's hard not to get angry at God. Life just doesn't seem fair for my patients.

I took care of a patient to day that was almost 90 years old. She had breast cancer almost 30 years ago. She was treated back then and was considered to be in remission until a few days ago.

30 years in remission and the cancer is back now. She is so miserable. The cancer is back and has spread to the lungs, her pleural space is full of it. She is having the hardest time breathing. No position is comfortable and no amount of pain medication soothes her.

As I took care of her, all I could think is how unfairly God was treating her. Why couldn't she have just died from a massive heart attack. It could have been quick. Now she is going to suffer for every breath. Her family is going to have to watch her as she gasps for her last breaths.

CANCER SUCKS!

March 11, 2008